May 20, 2007

From Jasminembla's Weblog:

Owls have secrets. They like to write them in hurried little notes on scraps of hazelnut husk paper--things like, 'Ontology remains exact!' and 'C=R2--yes--but what about Radioli??'--and then, they tend to lose them. Little scraps of dried hazelnut paper everywhere: pinked on one edge, heavily veined across, and covered in tiny, clever scrawls, dropped all over the forest floor and festooning the undergrowth. Spiders think them a nuisance, but the mice rather like the irony of it. You have to understand. Owl talons aren't very deft, you know.

Squirrels have secrets too. These too they tend to write on scraps, and then lose. But squirrels' secrets, unlike owls', tend to be more emotive, more frenetic--hastily dashed lists, when in a temper, of "People I Hate!!" and that sort of thing. Fortunately for squirrel world peace, these lists too--on little curls of birch-bark, by the way, not hazelnut husks (would you choose to manufacture notepad paper out of something you liked so much you could never wait, even, to unwrap it before gobbling it down ? No. That would be very counterproductive)--are quickly lost and forgotten, and are never read. Squirrels change their minds very quickly, anyways. The "Who They Hate" lists alone could never be kept up with any real accuracy without whole lines of little expert squirrel secretaries and scribes and emanuenses working hard to maintain such an endeavor. And everybody knows that being a secretary is no fun at all--so no squirrels would ever even think of it. Anyways, it is true that, as they say[1], squirrels tend to be rather more heavy on the 'pert' than 'ex'-pert in most things.

[1] Who 'they' are only the owls, probably, could tell you. In a pinch, though, cite National Geographic. You probably won't be wrong.

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